"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was clearing the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would wish for a couple of million pounds or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right. Whether it's a pint of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

The waitress asks, "But, sir, what's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses, and replies, "My second wish was for a tall bird with a big bum and long legs who agrees with everything I say."