The old lady speeding and the young policeman

Spotted by one of our members. (25.2.10) An old lady is stopped by a young police constable. "Is something the matter, officer?" "Yes, madam. You were driving well above the speed limit." "I see." "May I see your driving licence, please?" "I'd happily give you it, if only I had one." "You don't have a licence?" "No. It was taken away from me two years ago for drink driving." "I see. Are you aware that means the car isn't insured? "Yes, that would be the case." "Have you got the MOT certificate and other papers?" "No." "Why not?" "Because I stole the car." "You stole the car?!" "Yes, and then I killed the driver." "I beg your pardon?" "I hid the various bits of his body, which I chopped up, in the boot, in a number of bin liners inside a large suitcase." The PC is gobsmacked, to say the least. He backs off to his vehicle to call for reinforcements. A few minutes later, five police cars arrive with "blues and twos" at full speed and surround the old lady's car. An armed response officer approaches the old lady's car, with his weapon trained on her. "Get out slowly and keep your hands up at all times", he orders her. The old lady calmly obeys, but looks at the armed officer with an air of perplexity. "What is the matter?" "My colleague tells me that you are driving a stolen vehicle and have killed the owner." "Me, killed someone! You can't be serious." "Please slowly open the boot of your vehicle." The old lady duly does so, and reveals a small suitcase. She opens it on command, and shows the officer that it is completely empty. "And whose car is this, madam?" "Why mine. The insurance and registration papers are all in my name." The arresting officer is clearly bewildered, and casts an irritated glance at the young constable who stopped her. He turns back to the old lady. "My colleague also tells me you don't have a driving licence." "Why would he say that?" She then digs in her handbag and produces a clean licence. The officer examines the licence - and is in a state of some confusion. "My colleague radioed in that he'd stopped a driver with no licence, who admitted stealing the car she was driving, and that you'd also killed the owner." The old lady looks at him with amazement: "And I suppose the lying so-and-so also said I was driving too fast . . . ." Moral: don't mess with little old ladies!